my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
