Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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