Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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