Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
