I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
