So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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