is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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