everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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