Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
