the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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