I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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