Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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