Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
