Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
