since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
