he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
