i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
