Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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