the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
