We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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