I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
