Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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