I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think your dad took our porno
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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