gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
