i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
