Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
