this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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