We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
