he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
