I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
