I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
