Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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