I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
