The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
