You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
