Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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