i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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