Don't make out with my wife yet
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
