somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
