wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
