4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
