he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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