i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
