You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
