were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
