It was confusing and full of hummus
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
this is an emotional support booty call
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
