And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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