Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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