Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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