and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
