I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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