Already got asked if we're dating
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
