Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
